12:01
by EveryStringAttached
Summary: For every two beats of his heart he could feel Natalia’s beating once, slow and soft' Ryan/Natalia. Written for a challenge. Warning: character death. A tad angsty.


_A/N: This started off as 12 lines long, but that was before a trampoline happened and it became this. Strange how that happens huh? It's Ryan/Natalia which I've never written before but this is a challenge fic…so enjoy or maybe not so, as it's a bit sad :) _

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** 12:01**

"It's snowing…sno…Miam…" Ryan chuckled softly to himself as he heard Natalia mumbling in her sleep.

The first time she'd ever done it, he'd been completely freaked out. But in the 6 years they'd been together he'd gotten used to it, sometimes even having whole conversations with her while she was fast asleep.

Not wanting to disturb her just yet, he quietly nudged the door open, placing the tray he was carrying on the table by the bed. He opened the CD box and slipped it into the player, adjusting the volume so it wasn't too loud. The melody of 'Always' by Atlantic Starr softly played out.

He smiled at the memory; Natalia and him at their wedding reception, 4 years ago. Their bodies pressed together tightly, dancing like no one was watching, them against the world.

Then he paused for a second, just listening to the lyrics, and felt a pang of pain in his heart. His eyes shifted back over to his sleeping wife. The natural dark brown of her hair accentuated how pale her skin had become, and the slight frown on her face told him that even when was asleep she still wasn't free from the pain. The ragged rise and fall of her chest with every breath a painful reminder of the short time they had left.

"Nat," he called softly, walking over to be by her side. He leaned over, caressing her cheek gently.

Her eyelids flickered and she smiled a weak smile, she took a deep breath before she spoke, "Hey yourself."

A look of realization crossed her face as she heard the song that was playing.

"Ry, have I been," she paused to take a breath, "asleep that long?"

Natalia had long refused to have clocks in the room, she had told him they made her feel uneasy. So she often wasn't sure of the time whenever she woke up.

"No, it's a little after 8," he told her, and when he noted the confused look on her face he added, "I thought we could celebrate a little early."

"Ryan," she started before, she started to cough. Ryan helped her to sit up and she fought to catch her breath. It eased slightly as he turned up the flow of oxygen, and then he helped her ease back down into the pillows. She tired hard to keep her eyes open as the coughing fit had obviously drained her of the little energy she had.

She caught her breath before beginning again, "You're scared," she said, wheezing slightly, "that I won't…make it…to tomorrow."

Ryan felt his heart break at what he was hearing. The doctor had warned them both that it was now a matter of days not weeks and he was trying to keep everything normal for Natalia's sake, but she had gone downhill at a frightening pace in the past few hours.

She looked him straight in the eye, her brown eyes shining with tears, and he couldn't lie to her. He nodded solemnly, feeling tears prick his own eyes.

"In September, they told…me I wouldn't…see Christmas," she told him, her voice quiet but defiant, "It's February now, and…I'm not missing…our anniversary, believe me...Ry."

She continued to amaze him every day with the fight she still lived every day with, the utter defiance she showed her illness. The way she took everything in her stride and refused to let it get in the way.

"I know you won't," he told her, stroking her hair, although he wasn't sure if he could really believe it. She smiled up at him anyway, pleased with his answer.

"I made a chocolate cheesecake," he said, indicating the tray, and then standing up so he could retrieve it. He balanced it on Natalia's lap while he lowered the side of the bed. He settled himself gently on the edge of the bed.

"Would I…expect anything…less?" Natalia gave a weak laugh as she teased him.

Ryan chuckled along with her, and then picked up the spoon and fed her a small piece, she smiled appreciativly.

"I remember…on our honeymoon," Natalia started after she had finished the mouthful, with one of the biggest smiles he had seen on her in a long time.

"That cheesecake got really messy," he smiled himself at the memory.

"Thank you…Ryan…I…just…I got you…" she indicated a envelope on the other table. "Just…a card."

He picked up the small red envelope and opened it, pulling it out to reveal a Valentine's Day card, on the front of which there was also'& Happy Anniversary' written in Natalia's unmistakable handwriting.

"Always economical huh? Two special days in one, I knew there was a reason we got married on Valentine's Day," he then opened the card which had just a generic greeting inside. But underneath that was what brought a lump to his throat.

_Ry,_

_This past 6 years I've been with you, and the past 4 we've been married- I have cherished every single day._

_And a lot of the time it's been hard, but I know I could never have made it this far without you._

_There's one thing I haven't really told you yet, but I want you to know. _

_No matter what happens today, tomorrow or next week, _

_I'll love you forever and please remember me, but remember to let me go. _

_All my love,_

_Nat xxx_

He looked up with tears in his eyes, and took her hands in his.

"Nat, listen to me," he shook his head, unable to believe what he had just read.

"No…Ryan, you…listen," she took another breath, the pain evident as she grimaced, "I want...you to be…happy. Promise…me," her pleading eyes broke his heart, "Please."

"Nat I," he couldn't say no to her, "I, I promise," he said, even though he was sure he couldn't.

Natalia dropped her eyes from his gaze, back to the cheesecake on the tray.

"Ryan, I'm…sorry I can't…I"

Ryan moved the tray as Natalia jerked forward as she started coughing again. She leant forward and laid her head on his shoulder as she continued to cough, as he rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her. He eased her back down again.

"Take…me…upstairs," she asked, a painful wheeze between each word.

"You wanna go upstairs?"

She nodded slightly, sighing with the effort, "Please."

"Okay, I'll be right back," he told her, easing off the bed and picking up the spare oxygen bottle to take it upstairs.

"Ryan…I don't…need," she protested weakly.

"But," he began, before seeing the look on her face.

"I don't…not here."

"Okay, come here," he put down the oxygen and walked over to her, arms outstretched to lift her. She felt limp and light in his arms as he easily lifted her off the bed.

"Alright?" he asked, and she mumbled a reply, which he took as a yes.

He effortlessly took her up the stairs and opened the door to their bedroom, before settling Natalia on the bed and pulling the covers over her. He kissed the top of her head.

"Nat are you comfortable?" he asked.

"Mmm, m'okay," she replied, her eyes heavy with fatigue.

Ryan climbed in next to her, turning himself so that he was facing her, and she shifted slightly to snuggle into him. Her eyes closed and soon enough all he could hear was the jagged rhythm of her breathing. The toll of the past few days took its effect on him and he slowly drifted into a light sleep himself.

He wasn't sure of how long he had been asleep but a soft tugging on his shirt woke him. He opened his eyes and could see Natalia was trying to tell him something.

"Ryan," she said in a hoarse whisper, "hold me?" she asked in a voice so quiet that Ryan wasn't sure if she'd spoken at all.

He moved her as gently as he could so that she was resting with her head on his shoulder and for every two beats of his heart he could feel Natalia's beating once, slow and soft.

"I'm…tired," she complained softly, wheezing with the effort.

"Just rest okay," Ryan soothed, rubbing his hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer to him.

"No…I'm-I'm tired," she took a breath before continuing, "I'm…tired…of…"

"It's okay, I know, I know," he comforted, placing a kiss on the top of her head, the lump that had formed in his throat became painful and suffocating as he held back his tears.

"But…I'm…scared…Ryan…" she admitted, taking a painful breath between each word, "I'm…scared."

Ryan could feel dampness on his shirt that was the only evidence of Natalia's silent tears as her words cut through him like a knife. Throughout the whole illness she had always been so strong, the defiance and strength pushing past the fear in her eyes, and all the while having the courage to get up and face every day. To see her completely broken like this tore Ryan apart, and tugged at the emotional barrier, the wall he had built up whilst trying to be strong for her.

"It's alright, I'm here, it's okay," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

He wrapped his arms around her and finally let out a small sob. The hot salty tears running freely down his cheeks.

"I love," Natalia gasped, pausing for breath, "you…Ry," she wheezed, sniffling as tears continued to flow.

"I love you too Nat," he laced his fingers into hers, "rest now."

He felt a slight nod against his chest and the wheezing and gasping breaths she was taking soon settled into a pattern. Ryan took a deep breath and wiped his cheeks with his free hand before wrapping it back around his sleeping wife.

"You know," he started, "from the very first time I saw you, I was intrigued," he chuckled.

"I thought you were too good for me, you are too good for me," he brought his head down, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"But you gave me a chance, and because of that chance I've had 6 amazing years with you, you're the kind of amazing I never thought I'd have, the family I thought I'd never have again, I found with you," his voice broke as he fought another wave of tears,

"You're everything to me Natalia, you've made me a better person and I don't know how I'm gonna be without you. You're the strong one remember, you've always been the strong one," he took a shaky breath in, the tears coming harder and faster than they ever had, "but I've got to be strong now. Oh Nat," he sighed.

It slowly occurred to him that Natalia had not woken up during the whole time he had been talking to her and for someone who had been an incredibly light sleeper the past couple of months the realization hit him like a brick in the face. He held her even tighter and whispered in her ear,

"It's okay Nat, you don't have to be in pain anymore, it's okay to let go now. I love you. I love you," he told her, before closing his eyes and listening to the slowing pace of her breathing.

Not more than 5 minutes had passed when he felt and heard Natalia take a sharp breath, which she exhaled almost silently. His eyes snapped open, and he laid still waiting for her to breath again.

She didn't.

With a heavy sob he lifted her up higher and held her tighter, and through his tears he saw the soft green glow of the clock across the room. He smiled through his grief as he realized that she had proved herself right. That was his Natalia, a fighter to the very end.

The glowing digits read 12:01 am.

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_Challenge elements-_

_Must be a ship/character you've never written before- yes  
Valentine's Day is the theme- yes (in a way)  
Must start with 'It's snowing,"- yes  
PG-13- I hope so.  
Word Limit: 1,500- I didn't meet this requirement, but I couldn't bring myself to cut any out :( _

**--And I think after writing this, I have to dedicate it to everyone out there who's fighting an illness, has fought and won, or anyone who's lost someone, just because, ya know, I'm in one of my moods.**


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